Myths of Motherhood
Perhaps you’re thinking, “I babysat for years, have three younger siblings, and hang out all the time with my best friend who has a newborn…” You’ve read the books, taken the classes, made plans, and you feel ready! Excellent. But motherhood is different for each mom--no two experiences are alike.

One of the biggest factors that can foster postpartum depression is having unrealistic expectations of being the “perfect” mom. Often what’s pictured as “perfect” is not only impossible - it’s unhealthy! The old image of the self-sacrificing, my-needs-don’t-matter mother is on its way out where it belongs!
(Rebecca, I can use a lot more content explaining each of these fantasies, taken right out of the Dummies book. What do you think?)

Excerpted from Postpartum Depression For Dummies:
chapter 19: Ten Common Fantasies about Motherhood:

This should be the happiest time in my life
I should be able to do everything myself
I shouldn’t need breaks
Life won’t change that much
My needs shouldn’t matter
Bonding happens immediately at birth
Breastfeeding is natural, so it should come easily
Mothering is instinctual
I should feel satisfied being a stay-at-home mom
My baby will be my companion

The truth is....

You must learn to be a mother. It takes time--like going to a new job. You wouldn’t expect to know everything your first day on the job--even your first month or year. The learning curve is steep!

What Happens When You Give Birth

During pregnancy, reproductive hormones (estrogen, progesterone) in a woman's body are 20-30 times higher than normal. After delivery, these hormones drop abruptly, along with amino acids and neurotransmitters. This drastic change in reproductive hormones (as well as endorphins) lead to “baby blues” in most women, and a postpartum mood disorder in some. Your thyroid is also greatly affected by these changes, making a thyroid deficiency a side effect in 10% of new moms. Thyroid deficiencies have many of the same symptoms of depression.

Beating the Stress

Taking care of yourself is an absolute necessity! Some things you can do to cope with the stress of your new life are:

Talk to someone. Vent out your frustrations. If you don’t feel comfortable doing this, get a journal and write down your feelings in there.

Exercise. Put your baby in a stroller and take a walk, or, during nap time, put in an exercise video. Exercise will replace some of those valuable endorphins you lost when you gave birth.

Take quiet time for yourself. Read a book, go sit outside, take a bubble bath, stretch, meditate, or take a short nap if you can.

When you feel like you’re going to explode, want to yell at the baby, or cry out of frustration, call a support person. If another adult is home, hand the baby over for a while until you’ve calmed down.

If you feel like a slave to your baby, imprisoned in your house, you need some regular breaks throughout the week so you don’t burn out. Get a babysitter for even just a few hours. Change out of your mom clothes, get spiffed up, go shopping with a friend, see a movie, eat out at a restaurant, or enjoy a date with your boyfriend/husband. The only rule? Be yourself, free of the baby and of course, free of guilt! This is what healthy mothers do, don’t forget.